B52s needed to protect the voting booths
President Trump has denied that the US Air Force has been spooked by three Transit vans and five guys syphoning petrol. The relocation of the B52 bomber fleet is more to do with illegal voting than being scared of Iran. Honestly.
'Iran isn't an issue for the United States,' he said today, 'but illegal voting is.' There is little, if any, evidence of meaningful voting crime in the US, and the President thinks dropping nuclear bomb on potential Democrat voting queues would completely eliminate it.
'I accept a few misguided Democrat voters might be collateral damage,' the President said, 'but my advisor in Moscow says this is the only way we can guarantee there aren't any false votes cast.'
President Vladimir Putin wasn't available for comment.
Image credit: ChatGPT
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