Trump invoices Iran for US war costs
- deskpilot
- 18 minutes ago
- 1 min read
President Trump has demanded five billion dollars from Iran 'on account', until the war is over and the final bill can be calculated.
A White House official explained. 'Iran has forced the US to incur massive costs in staff, expenses and munitions. All of these costs could have been avoided if Iran had just surrendered unconditionally at the outset. So it's only fair and reasonable that Iran should reimburse all our costs.
We can take cash, or oil. Or we could take payment in the form of Uranium. Regular or enriched, we don't mind.
A copy of the invoice has been posted on line. It simply says 'Estimated war costs to March 6th 2026 on account - $5bn. Payment due immediately. Interest is charged at 20% on unpaid bills. Full itemised invoice to follow. Further invoices will be issued each week. If you are having difficulties paying your bills then please call Pete Hegseth at our customer service centre. Have you considered our bomb now, pay later scheme?'
The official continued. 'Venezuela handed over their oil resources. Ukraine handed over its mineral resources. Mexico paid for the big beautiful wall. So it's entirely fair for Iran to pay up as well. If they don't pay, then we'll impound Iran and no-one will be able to use it until we've got our money.'