What began as a series of barely audible warning noises, has quickly become a front runner for the prestigious music prize in the UK, the Brit Awards. Having recently been painted black by its stylist, starred in an obligatory sex tape with Robin Thicke, Beeping Smoke Alarm (BSA) is set to be the most downloaded act of 2014 ‘once Dad has found the stepladder’.
Although, ironically, it has been nominated for Best Newcomer at the 2014 Brits, BSA has been quietly gathering dust in the spare bedroom for the last two years. It only came to the attention of talent scouts after its heavy duty battery ‘gave up the ghost’, creating a whole new sound that has sent clubbers into ecstasy.
It was the surprise minority hit of 2013: stories seen on television that were not actually true in any sense but rather contained in ‘scripts’ produced by ‘writers’ and played out by trained professionals known in the industry as ‘actors’. Sometimes, analysts agree, Borgen even matched Eddie Stobart: Trucks & Trailers for excitement. However, most still dismiss Unreality TV as a passing fad.
In their pursuit to fill the vacancy left by Sunday’s X-Factor winner, Sam Bailey, HMP Gartree in Leicestershire has announced plans to scrap its traditional hiring policies and instead host the UK’s first ever ‘Screw Factor’.
Bosses at the Category B men’s prison have said they were inspired to adopt the more modern and glitzy approach after watching their former employee hit the big time on ITV.