In an effort to combat accusations of bias amongst the celebrity judging panel in the forthcoming high-profile final of the X-Factor, the current panel will be replaced by a more traditional panel of judges.
From next year, works which come with an artist’s name attached will be disqualified from the prestigious contemporary art prize’s selection process. Instead, judges will concentrate on works that have not been made by artists.
‘The very idea of artists has now been totally discredited by new and exciting works like ‘James Milner’s Shin Pads’,’ explained chief Judge Mike Smythe. ‘These exist free of the bourgeois taint of personality cult. No formal ‘artist’ has been involved, strictly speaking.’
In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalists, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version of EastEnders broadcast in Scotland.
Chomsky, who wooed crowds at a similar event in London earlier this month, delivered a speech on revolutionary industrial unionism to rapturous acclaim before flicking the switch to herald the start of the city’s festive celebrations.