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Customers grateful for latest Important Changes to Your Account letter from bank

Though seemingly routine and innocuous, the blandly worded statements about what appear to be mundane banking procedures actually contain deadly hidden threats.

Read more > offers to ‘save souls’

lie now, pray laterPayday loan company Wonga has hastily announced plans to diversify and offer unsecured ‘high-cost salvation’ in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent decision to offer Church of England payday loans.

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2000 slaves to be buried alongside RBS Pharaoh

now focussing solely on pyramid schemesStephen Hester, or King Tut Tut the Third of RBS, has decreed that 2,000 former servants from the bank’s investment arm be slaughtered and buried alongside him in a specially designed pyramid.

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New global financial crisis feared after death of NYSE chimp

happy to work for peanuts, plus $4m bonusButtercup, the chimp who for the last five years has sat behind the big curtain on the New York Stock Exchange trading floor pressing the random buttons which control share prices, has died of ennui.

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Online retailers in Wales to be closed on Sundays and Wednesday Afternoons

always good to have a clear head at least two days a weekDespite tough economic times, the Welsh Assembly Government will be telling online retailers in Wales to shut up shop on Sundays and Wednesday afternoons because their ‘always available approach’ is making the other shops look bad.’

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