NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

HealthBiscuit

Genetics questioned as nip/tuck mum gives birth to ugly children

even modern science can't put them back inJennie Chapman is taking legal advice after extensive cosmetic surgery failed to prevent her giving birth to a second pair of twins widely rated as ‘two of the ugliest ever born locally’.

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Homeopath to start offering ‘assisted-suicide’ remedy

lethal in massively diluted quantitiesThe number of eligible people is thought to be high.

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Groupon voucher offers massive discount on Dignitas trip

A number of complaints have been raised after the latest Groupon discount coupon was published online offering a 70% discount on assisted suicide at the Swiss clinic Dignitas.

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Government ‘will support’ removal of degrading ego implants

implants offered instant boost followed by long slow declineNew evidence shows that millions of ego implants inserted into the heads of celebrities and children in recent decades may be faulty and should be removed.

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British Heart Foundation campaigns to make life saving look ‘less gay’

nothing strange going on here, Officer‘It’s a terrible shame, but dozens of men die needlessly each year because other men won’t perform CPR out of fear they may look like they are enjoying it.’

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