A stalk of spring wheat growing in a field in Herefordshire has expressed alarm at the news that Theresa May is still the Prime Minister. Nigel, who belongs to the genus Triticum Aestivum, said that Mrs May’s past record of casual cropicide makes her entirely unsuitable for the role. [read...]
It was announced today that the so-called “science march”, protesting against President Trump’s alleged inaction in the face of climate change, is to be peer reviewed to check the validity of its conclusions. “It’s all very well saying ‘Trump is a bigoted asshole’, [read...]
A bickering couple in Bromsgrove has caused Google Home to burst into flames after it was unable to figure out if anyone did actually pull their weight around the house, what her bloody mother’s opinions had to do with anything and why either of them bothered. [read...]
If you think that technology is already giving free rein for twats and psychos to make a mess of everything, you really haven’t seen anything yet, experts warned today. The ‘Internet of Things’, which has come of age in recent years and is expected to consist of about 50 billion objects by 2020, [read...]
Professor Stephen Hawking has backed the Labour Party to win the next general election, assuming the election takes place in a parallel universe.
In an article for The Times Professor Hawking wrote ‘On planet earth the Labour Party has as much chance of winning a snap election as I have of winning the 10-metre Platform diving gold at the next Olympics. [read...]