ScienceBiscuit
It cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.
Apple have been forced to recall thousands of units of the iPhone 4S after complaints from users that the Siri app had become unhelpful, rude, and in extreme cases, had called in anonymous tips about the phone’s owner to the anti-terrorist hotline.
‘You can see from the look in his eyes when I’m making him do J-turns, burn-outs and wheelies that he loves every moment of it.’
The seven millionth human is being continually harassed by a computer pop-up reading ‘Congratulations! You are the 7,000,000,000th visitor to this planet. Click here to claim your free prize!’
Stand aside ‘Planking’, move over ‘Batmanning’, there’s a new game in town. ‘Working’ is the new craze which has Facebook users flocking to upload photos of themselves engaged in the most menial, soul-destroying jobs, while wishing they’d paid more attention at school.
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