NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

ScienceBiscuit

Fears of unintentional racism as Apple launches line of ethnically diverse emoji

*embarrassed*Industry experts predict a sharp increase in the number of mobile phone users choosing voice calls over text messages for fear of being branded a horrible racist following Apple’s unveiling of a new line of ethnically diverse emoji.

Read more >



Samsung release a range of morally superior TVs

So much smarter than you.Having revealed that their current range of smart products will ‘listen’ to and gather personal information, the South Korean multinational was forced to concede that their self-aware TVs were now ‘silently judging’ their owners and malfunctioning accordingly.

Read more >



Government proposes post-coital smoking ban

'Yeah baby!' actually 'No baby'Heterosexual couples who light up after sex will face hefty fines under a proposed new law to protect unborn children. The latest scientific research has indicated that after orgasm, smoking can impede sperm-rich semen in its journey towards the cervix, slowing it down by an average of 1.2 miles per hour.

Read more >



Tesco daffodil incident ‘first stage of Backward Evolution’, warns science

Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions.

Read more >



Facebook apologises after site outage causes surge in conversations

users left 'friendless' for up to 50 minutesFacebook has apologised after it was taken offline by hackers today, prompting an hour of chaos in which people spoke to each other, looked out of the window or simply sat in quiet contemplation.

Read more >