Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions.
Following successful experiments teaching chimpanzees to use sign language, Dr Greg Watts has announced the first examples of human teen speech. ‘What we were all taught in medical school is that the vocal chords go through a maturation process, and that inarticulacy is inevitable during the adolescent phase.
Following the accidental discovery of the missing short proof of ‘Fermat’s last theorem’ halfway through a pineapple upside down cake last week, the scientific community, religious groups and anyone with a point to prove have been contemplating and eating puddings.
Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’