NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

SportBiscuit

Sir Cliff Richard ‘delighted’ after Wimbledon ban finally lifted

still holding a candle for Sue BarkerThe ban, which stretches back to 1996, was imposed on the ageing pop star after his painful rendition of ‘Singing in the Rain’ on Centre Court left spectators traumatised and unable to enjoy the rest of the tennis.

Read more >



Isle of Wight tennis player arrives at Wimbledon with sense of hope and a Swingball set

must have a chance against FedererThe 22-year-old from Shanklin was only introduced to tennis just six months ago when his uncle returned from the mainland with a racquet he had found in a hedge, and that he initially believed to be a sophisticated device for dicing apples.

Read more >



Brazilians protest Nadal’s Wimbledon ranking

it's only a knee injury, for heaven's sake‘Exorbitant transport fares, corruption and taxation we can tolerate, but placing the two-time champion behind David Ferrer is an outrage!’ said on protester.

Read more >



Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

Read more >



Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists

plenty of mileage left in those magnificent thighsFollowing an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to require all members of team GB to continue professional competition ‘until at least 75 years of age, preferably longer’.

Read more >