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Struggling young actors turning to football for route to Hollywood

hopefuls will later be looking for West End work on a BosmanFollowing the silver screen success of former footballers Vinnie Jones, Eric Cantona and David Ginola, young actors are now choosing Football Association approved academies attached to English professional football clubs as a novel new route to television and movie stardom.

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Sir Cliff Richard ‘delighted’ after Wimbledon ban finally lifted

still holding a candle for Sue BarkerThe ban, which stretches back to 1996, was imposed on the ageing pop star after his painful rendition of ‘Singing in the Rain’ on Centre Court left spectators traumatised and unable to enjoy the rest of the tennis.

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Isle of Wight tennis player arrives at Wimbledon with sense of hope and a Swingball set

must have a chance against FedererThe 22-year-old from Shanklin was only introduced to tennis just six months ago when his uncle returned from the mainland with a racquet he had found in a hedge, and that he initially believed to be a sophisticated device for dicing apples.

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Brazilians protest Nadal’s Wimbledon ranking

it's only a knee injury, for heaven's sake‘Exorbitant transport fares, corruption and taxation we can tolerate, but placing the two-time champion behind David Ferrer is an outrage!’ said on protester.

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Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

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