The Chancellor has welcomed the latest data from the ONS that shows falling prices in the last two weeks. This new data bucks the trend of rises prices throughout 2025. A government spokesman told us that, in the week before Christmas, prices for many vegetables had fallen, as shops offered deals at 5p, 8p and 15p for bags of short dated produce. In addition, there was a measurable fall in the price of advent calendars. 'Since Christmas, there have been dramatic falls in the

.

.

'Everyone knows it's America first! We must deport 2025. Where are the Keanu Reeves Islands anyway?' read a White House statement - after it had been moved out of all caps. 'Tonga? Samoa? Blow them all up and order the extra judicial killing of any survivors left clinging to any boats. New Zealand is where Hobbits live, it isn't a real country! You can't fool The Donald, who will celebrate winning New Year in Washington DC, 3 hours before the loser Governor of California Gavi

.

The Independent Meteorological Service, AKA Dave's dad, has forecast swathes of snow to cross all the important parts of the UK in the early part of January.  The parts regarded as important almost certainly include parts you might be interested in, or possibly near to parts you might be interested in. 'The snow will be ten units deep,' he said, declining to say if the units are inches or centimetres. It could be Smurfs.  It will travel south from the north, and west from the

I'm just asking, as we seem to be paying double for a pool that is on the verge of flooding. My husband was all like, we have to have...

.

Aries Phew! You really put a lot of effort in to enjoying Christmas. Expect your family to stage an intervention over your 'erratic' behaviour in the coming months. It's not all about you, you pig. Taurus You are a thoughtful, inquisitive and spiritual person. You are brave, courageous and action oriented. Not only that, but you are also forward-looking, forward-thinking and interested in what the future holds for you. You should trust your intuition and loosen your purse str

Just how British are you? The NewsBiscuit Citizenship Test* has been designed by idiots to assess your knowledge of this green and (mostly) pleasant land.

It's the time of year for celebrating the work of everyone who contributes to NewsBiscuit as writers, editors, cartoonists and the various backroom activities that keep this site running. We've had a fair few new writers join us this year - welcome - and hopefully this post will find itself opened by people who don't know that much about NewsBiscuit, so a little background might help. The site exists to provide a space for aspiring and existing comedy writers to hone their co

Deskpilot has pulled it off again scoring what is one of the largest scores I can recall since the competition started eight years ago. Jeremynh and I drew joint second and third place goes to McDabble with an impressive headlines score. As usual the links to all the subs are below, followed by the Cartoon of the month and tail-ended with the headlines that were published this month. Then I'll be off to calculate the Writer of the Year, so look out for another posting, possi

"We've achieved the sum of sweet f*ck-all since we came into office," admitted a spokes-hieroglyph for the Labour government. "But we have used the little that remains of Britain's diplomatic heft to ensure the return of a total w*nker called Abd al Fattah. "This is a person who the Egyptians had kept locked up as a public service, who tweets hate speech against Jews and democracy. "Strangely, the Prime Minister was actually proud to have secured his release. "That's presumab

The vast numbers of people going to a movie that no one asked for has been attributed to horny couples looking for discreet canoodling. Said one flustered teenager: "Normally I only get a couple of kisses an hour, but this film is so long I managed to impregnate the whole front row."

'I have come amongst you, oh my readers,' said the Ghost of News Past, emerging from the headquarters of News International onto Wapping...

.

.