Best of NewsBiscuit - May 2024
- NewsBiscuit
- 3 minutes ago
- 2 min read
May 2024
The small matter of the General Election date was finally announced on the 23rd of May, outside 10 Downing Street, by one of the smaller Tory Wets. That’s right – only a year ago! The Tories continued to do their best impersonation of a busted flush and Tory MPs continued to be quite defective. Labour continued to mutter about change and refused to say anything about their policies. Ed Davey started planning his tour of Britain’s theme parks.
The hearings into the Post Office Horizon scandal continued. Paula Vennells continued to protest her ignorance, and therefore innocence. It was all so unbelievable that a career in politics seemed to be beckoning. On the plus side, the convictions of many subpostmasters were – at last - overturned.
Water companies and water quality continued to make the news. Water company bosses continued to poo-poo concerns about sewage. Bookings for UK holiday resorts hit rock bottom.
Here is a selection of the top stories from May 2024, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.
General Election
Post Office Scandal
Sport
Other nonsense
Selected headlines from May 2024
Sunak ignores teams of fat ladies singing outside Downing Street
Eurovision: "Not over until the bearded lady sings"
All Universities required to become Diversities
Free Julian Assange! (buyer collects)
I'm trying to give up being a pirate, but the patches aren't working
Pals with receding hairlines say they go back a long way
Prince William accidentally calls the FA Cup 'Dad'
Tories suffering from electoral dysfunction
Cocaine worth £40 million found in car park still not enough to pay for two hours parking
Post Office paid Paula Vennells 5 million pounds to know nothing about anything
Boats on all English rivers now required to have a poop deck
Picture credit: Deep Dream Generator