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Middle-aged Dungeons & Dragons experts ‘still not getting respect they deserve’

Although Dungeons & Dragons is celebrating its 40th anniversary, many participants are concerned that their contributions to society, heavy metal t-shirts and virginity have been overlooked. While other 80′s pastimes such as Tetris, rampant capitalism and heroin have achieved respectability, fans of D&D are still derided as ‘bespectacled geeks’.

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Barista spontaneously turns American

"And can I write your name on this cardboard cup...?"A man working as a ‘barista’ at a branch of Starbucks in Huddersfield has become the first European to spontaneously turn into an American.

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Self-fellatio injury blamed on the Lynx Effect

overstretchedA 38-year-old Kent man is recovering in hospital today after dislocating his spine in an incident which he claims was caused by the ‘Lynx Effect’.

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Well-off housewives slam Benefits Street claimants as ‘downright lazy’

simply shameful, darlingBritain’s large population of wealthy middle class housewives have today raised their concerns about the UK’s ever-growing population of ‘spongers’.

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Candy Crush addict admits selling body online for ‘extra lives’

will the torment never end?!A long-suffering London housewife has today spoken of her desperation at dealing with her husband’s severe Candy Crush addiction, claiming that her home life has now become ‘unbearable’.

Patricia Willcox, a 46-year-old from Tooting, said she first noticed the extent of Brian’s issues with the popular ‘match-three’ game, when she discovered the 51-year-old ‘entertaining strangers’ via webcam, in return for extra ‘lives’ on Christmas Eve. ‘It got to the point where I couldn’t bear to be with him any more.’ said exasperated Patricia. ‘When your loving husband of twelve-years snubs your home cooked food in favour of a bag of Skittles, you know something’s wrong.’

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