Environmentalists are celebrating the success of an experiment to tap into the vast heat resources of menopausal women as an alternative to fossil fuels. Researchers now believe that the irregularities in middle-aged women’s body temperatures could present a powerful and renewable source of energy.
Howard Phillips, founder of the Little Horrors Support Group, says the plight of those raising uncanny offspring has been ignored for to too long and that the time has come for the monster to be kicked out of the closet.
Tim Nolan, stationery sales executive from Windsor and passenger on board flight BA16 to Madrid became an unlikely hero yesterday as he successfully wrestled with the controls of the stricken plane after both the Captain and First officer were taken sick during the flight.
June 3 1953 was a very special day for the British people. Most of the millions who sat in someone else’s home squinting at crackling black and white images of the Queen’s coronation could scarcely have dreamed that, 60 years on, this new-fangled invention would have liberated them from the need to interact with any other human being.
‘I remember kneeling on the front room in Mr and Mrs Parker’s next door transfixed by it all,’ says Norman Rice, now a sprightly 72-year-old from Accrington, who watches repeats of Last of the Summer Wine around the clock on Yesterday. ‘Of course in them days people didn’t really get TV etiquette. You just had to put up with the old dears yattering on in the background about the coronation robes and the smell of wee from Mrs Parker’s senile old grandad.’
Homeless, penniless Abigail Pike, 74, was facing a bleak future until the kind-hearted felines took pity on her and decided to take her under their collective paws. After renovating a long-abandoned bungalow the marvellous moggies set about catering to Abigail’s every whim, refurbishing her wardrobe, teaching her computer skills and enrolling her in the Open University. ‘They spoil me rotten’, says a delighted Abigail.