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The news before it happens…

LifeBiscuit

Man finally admits unconditional love for his mechanic

Returning to the family home last Thursday after collecting his car from a routine service, James Hepworth, a 43-year-old married man from Lincoln, finally confessed to his wife what he described as the ‘last remaining love that dare not speak its name’ – the unconditional and all-consuming adoration he felt for Dave Shepherd, his auto-mechanic at Cecil Lane Motors.

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Very Lazy set to introduce range of partially chewed meals

ready shreddy mealThe new meals will target customers who want the satisfaction that comes with preparing and cooking your own food, but without the hassle of chopping ingredients or the hard work of fully chewing them once they are ready.

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Men welcome morning-after pill for things you wish you hadn’t said

only problem is remembering to take itThe pill reverses the effects of misconceived comments before they grow and eventually acquire a life of their own.

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Samaritans criticised for cold-calling campaign

Following a huge number of complaints to Ofcom, the national charity Samaritans has been criticized for embarking upon a cold calling campaign across the UK.

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Germaine Greer buys gorgeous new handbag

something a man would never get rightAcclaimed feminist icon Germaine Greer set heads turning and tongues wagging today after stepping out with this season’s absolute must-have handbag, the Yves Saint Lauren ‘Cabas Chyc’ leather tote.

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