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SportBiscuit

Venezuela deny using United defeat to ‘bury bad news’

was denied 'Fergie Time'Critics have suggested late President Hugo Chavez has been dead for weeks. ‘What better way to try and hide the news than when the when world’s attention is on a dodgy refereeing decision in Salford.’

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Catholics ‘despondent’ after Rafael Benitez accepts vacant Pope position

he maka da speech very niceWhite smoke billowing from the Vatican’s Fiorentina End chimney this morning signalled a shock turn of the managerial roundabout at Europe’s top institutions of football and religion.

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Speculation mounting that the ‘manner’ of Lance Armstrong’s confession was the medium of dance

Armstrong hoping to win this year's Tour des StudiosFollowing Oprah Winfrey’s admission that Lance Armstrong’s confession was ‘not in the manner she expected’, speculation is growing as to the way the disgraced cyclist admitted his cheating.

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Ricky ‘Hitman’ Hatton to take up top-flight test cricket

Really enjoys the lunch and tea breaksRicky Hatton has astounded the sporting world today with his decision to become a world class cricketer in under four months. The former boxer says his surprise switch to International Test Cricket has filled the void left by repeatedly smacking somebody around the head until they lose consciousness and/or end up on a life support machine.

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Abramovich names Abramovich as new Chelsea manager

Da!Roman Abramovich has been confirmed as the new manager of Chelsea by Roman Abramovich following the departure of hapless stooge Roberto di Matteo, who inexcusably lost a couple of games whilst managing the team for a pittance.

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