NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

UK-Biscuit

Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentGraduate trainee social workers will handle complex cases after five weeks and be well on the way to depression and a nervous breakdown within just two months, under a new fast-track training scheme unveiled today by the Government.

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Unnamed celebrity questioned over historical self-abuse allegations

Police in Greater Manchester are questioning a 93 year old man in relation to an alleged series of self-abuse incidents which took place in the 1940s.

It is understood that the man was arrested following claims by a former girlfriend that he had confessed to performing self-abuse while they were still in a relationship.

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Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist

Union Jack, made in Indonesia for Christ's sakeIn a move that stunned many of the country’s fans, Britain today issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist.

Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President Obama simply said: ‘Shit.’

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Abu Qatada stays, everyone else goes, rules government

now ruler of all he surveysThe government has signed a mutual assistance treaty with Jordan to ensure that radical cleric Abu Qatada can stay in the UK while 62.64 million British citizens are deported to Jordan, Theresa May has told MPs.

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Honest reporting dies, aged 87

Tributes were pouring in from around the world this morning following the death of honest and balanced reporting which finally passed away yesterday after a long illness.

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