NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

UK-Biscuit

156 people found inhumanely crushed into metal container at Crewe station

they were lucky to get out aliveAmbulances and police in huge numbers rushed this morning to Crewe station after the discovery of scores of people there being trafficked against their will in a metal box.

Read more >



Bank of England’s Governor feeds interest rate dissenters to piranhas

They really had become rather tiresomeTwo members of the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee who favoured an interest rate rise have been eaten alive by a school of piranhas on the whim of Bank of England Governor Mark Carney, while shocked members of the committee looked on.

Read more >



Grammar Nazis apprehended in Fourth Reich plot

ve haf vays off making you talk properA national calamity was narrowly averted today when police arrested a secret group of Grammar Nazis in an underground classroom.

Read more >



Bear Grylls to sue George Foreman for ‘Grill’ copyright infringement

Specifically he hopes to stamp out illicit meat broiling, parallel bars and ‘the kind of cross-examination that only occurs in US cop shows’.

Read more >



Veteran dog walker finally finds corpse in woods

After years of waking up early to take his dog for a walk through the woods, retiree Mike Edwards has finally found a corpse. The grim discovery, which he suspects will be the first of many, was made early yesterday morning when he noticed a hand sticking out from beneath some leaves.

‘I’ve been walking my dog through the woods every morning since I retired fifteen years ago’, said the 67-year-old. ‘Everybody knows that all dog walkers eventually find something like this, but I’ve not once found a mangled body or a skeleton. I’ve never even come across a discarded running shoe with the foot still inside. That all changed today; it’s terribly exciting’.

Read more >