NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

WorldBiscuit

Taliban launch comeback tour with huge bang

Taylor Swift rapidly reinforcing her defencesJust when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or in this case ‘a bicameral national legislature, comprising of two chambers’, it turns out it’s not. Like a blast from the past, or at least the detonation of a car bomb, the world’s favourite pantomime villains have returned with a cover-version of the 90’s Mullah-classic – ‘Boom! Boom! Shake Shake The Room’.

Read more >



NAACP last recruited an African-American in 1964

'Is it 'cos I is white?'Rachel Dolezal attempted to defuse the controversy related to her ethnic identity, by releasing membership data that suggests the civil rights group had solely been comprised of ‘white guys in disguise’ since the mid-60s. The president of the Spokane chapter further claimed that the moon landings were faked, Elvis is alive and that the NRA have no bullets.

Read more >



God impregnates fish

moves in mysterious waysA virginal sawfish from Florida has become the most recent example of immaculate conception since the Almighty’s ‘barely legal’ fumblings with a 14 year old from Bethlehem. Why God has taken over two thousand years to manifest his zoophilia is unclear and he has expressed no interest in taking custody of seven small fry.

Read more >



Dagenham’s cultural heritage ‘safe in ISIS hands’

Scholars say that Dagenham’s cultural heritage and priceless artefacts are probably safe should the so-called Islamic State (ISIS) one day take control of the town.

Read more >



Tensions rise as Latvia, Lithuania clash over right to ‘Lexit’


The EU summit in Latvia has descended into acrimony after leaders were unable to agree whose potential exit from the Union would be called what.

Read more >