WorldBiscuit
In a momentous turn of events, tensions in the Middle East appear to have eased considerably after the presidents of Iran and the US swapped knock-knock jokes for the first time in 35 years.
Labour leader Ed Miliband has admitted he struggled to hold back tears at the TUC conference this week as the nations of the world joined together to crown him the greatest politician of his generation.
The vote in the House of Commons dismissing even the principle of going to war in Syria has been ratified today by Britain’s last remaining soldier, Barry.
There was disarray in the UK Parliament last night on the question of whether or not to intervene in Syria as evidence emerged that President Bashar Al-Assad may actually be a meerkat.
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.
‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’
Loading...