Donna Onions, a 24 year old medical student from Edinburgh, thinks she may have picked up the North Korean dictator while backpacking in East Asia. ‘At first I thought the blockage was just an annoying little blood clot caused by the long flight,’ she said, ‘or maybe a thrombosis caused by a motorcycle accident I had in Penang. But then the doctors took another look and that’s when I got quite a nasty shock.’
US Secretary of State John Kerry, who reluctantly agreed to the idea, said: ‘It’s going to be tough, but we’ve received some really helpful support packs from NATO on how to control the urges we’re likely to face over the coming weeks.
‘We have strong suspicions that the truck wasn’t taxed,’ said an aerial reconnaissance expert, ‘or maybe the owner removed the tax disc a day early. Either way, it certainly didn’t look roadworthy, and almost certainly wouldn’t have passed its MOT had it not been destroyed.