David Cameron has said seagulls from Devon and Cornwall could be sent to Syria in a bid to help coalition forces tackle Islamist insurgents. A spokesperson for the unfussy seabirds said the gulls were definitely ‘up for a fight’.
Nazi leaders vehemently deny that there was ever any collusion between the Royals and Germany’s social Darwinist movement, pointing out that they (the Nazis) subscribed to the theory of an Aryan master race based on national Socialism and not the hereditary imperialism of a single ruling family.
The General Lee, iconic 1969 Dodge Charger stock car from The Dukes of Hazzard, is set to star in a radical new reboot of the popular 1980s TV show, with its trademark Confederate battle emblem replaced by a rainbow flag. The Queens of Hazzard is still set in Hazzard County, Georgia and will feature a pair of loveable rogues who get into all sorts of scrapes as their conventional Southern neighbours come to terms with their same-sex relationship.
‘When I heard that Bubba Watson was painting over the flag of the General Lee, it all just clicked into place,’ said HBO commissioner Martin Shuffleberg. ‘We at HBO have always wanted to make something like this – a show that reflects the acceptance and tolerance that has been at the core of this great country since, oh, at least June.’
Worried Greek voters have only a few hours left to work out what the hell their 74 word referendum question actually means. Nearly ten million citizens are so confused by the wording of the question that they are unsure whether to vote Yes, No, or simply eat their ballot paper and follow it with an ouzo chaser.