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Staunch Tory demands more suffering be caused to others

However hard the government bends over backwards to appease its core vote, a dyed in the wool true blue forever Conservative voter continues to be dissatisfied with the amount of pain being caused to those around him.

Gyles Tebbit from Surrey barked, 'This is just not good enough. I expect more. I expect more pain. I expect more suffering. I expect more wails of agony from those around me. This isn't what I didn't vote for.

'What this government needs to do is to get up off its lazy arse and get someone else to start sticking the knife in properly. I didn't not fight in World War II for this. Our Maggie had the country in absolute meltdown and all of us pummelled into submission in half the time. None of this u-turn nonsense you see today.

'I want every last foreigner kicked out. I want everyone coming over here taking our jobs and our women deported to Rwanda. And then I want every last one of our women back in their kitchens making babies. I want the kids of today rid of once and for all. I want everyone on strike sacked. I want everyone in work sacked. I want the unions crushed. I want the NHS dismantled. I want all those meddling greenies locked up. I want the poor taxed out of existence. I want the welfare state pulverised. I want the economy destroyed. I want full on hard red, white and blue Brexit done properly from the start. And bring back mandatory hanging for everyone.'

Now clear off. I'm a very busy and important man who needs to get into my German SUV, race to my local Italian, knock back a few French reds, call my Greek tax accountant from my Dutch mobile, and then fly to my second home in Spain.'


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