Worried Greek voters have only a few hours left to work out what the hell their 74 word referendum question actually means. Nearly ten million citizens are so confused by the wording of the question that they are unsure whether to vote Yes, No, or simply eat their ballot paper and follow it with an ouzo chaser.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or in this case ‘a bicameral national legislature, comprising of two chambers’, it turns out it’s not. Like a blast from the past, or at least the detonation of a car bomb, the world’s favourite pantomime villains have returned with a cover-version of the 90’s Mullah-classic – ‘Boom! Boom! Shake Shake The Room’.
Rachel Dolezal attempted to defuse the controversy related to her ethnic identity, by releasing membership data that suggests the civil rights group had solely been comprised of ‘white guys in disguise’ since the mid-60s. The president of the Spokane chapter further claimed that the moon landings were faked, Elvis is alive and that the NRA have no bullets.
A virginal sawfish from Florida has become the most recent example of immaculate conception since the Almighty’s ‘barely legal’ fumblings with a 14 year old from Bethlehem. Why God has taken over two thousand years to manifest his zoophilia is unclear and he has expressed no interest in taking custody of seven small fry.