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Narnia receives scathing TripAdvisor review

it was all in the 400-page brochure, if only they'd lookedThe magical realm of Narnia is in uproar today after receiving a highly critical review on holiday appraisal website TripAdvisor. The review, by the Pevensie family of Finchley, complains of awful weather, rude talking animals and poor quality Turkish Delight. ‘The kids had been pestering us to go for ages, and it was either that or Center Parcs,’ explained Mr Pevensie. ‘However, when we got there it was nothing like the brochures. The weather was terrible and, as far as I can tell, it is always winter there. The talking animals and mythical beasts were ill-tempered and unhelpful while the much famed Turkish Delight was cheap supermarket rubbish and a major disappointment.

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France bans work emails after 6pm and lolcats in the office before 10am

les lolzIn what is being seen as a ‘tit for cat’ retaliatory measure, Gallic big business plans to restrict private internet use in the office in response to workers being protected from intrusive emails at home. French Unions applauded the restrictions on out-of-hours work but demanded to know how honest labourers could expect to find ‘lonely singles’, monitor their Ebay auctions or complete Candy Crush Saga?

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Diplomatic chaos as Iran attempts to harness power of ‘butterfly effect’

international panic will start on a small scale then escalate exponentiallyUN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world.

‘This is the nightmare scenario,’ said physicist Professor Michio Kaku. ‘The butterfly effect suggests that a single butterfly flapping its wings in one country could trigger a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Just imagine the devastation that could be caused by thousands of them all flapping together in the same direction.’

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Murder fears hit Scandinavian tourist industry

nobody mentioned anythiing bleak in the brochureFewer people are making leisure trips to Scandinavia, for fear of being hideously murdered or being overcome with the desire to kill another, according to tourism analysts.

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Bitcoins to be replaced with Lego

long track record, future proofAs the MtGox Exchange files for bankruptcy, virtual investors have been frantically looking for an alternative currency that could provide the twin qualities of stability and an ever present threat to bare feet.

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