Keir Starmer and President Zelensky have agreed to use the Pam Ewing peace plan. With this plan, Russia withdraws to its borders, the last 50 years never happened, and Bobby Ewing becomes head of NATO. Continuity-wise, this means erasing the Putin storyline, but Zelenskyy said he has no problem with that. The entire misstep of the provoking the Russians will be put down too much cheese the night before. The fever dream will allow the show to run for another season-at least

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Michael Gove has finally backed the construction of 200 miles of artificial waterways across the north of England despite nobody having...

M&S is looking to repeat the success of its Colin The Caterpillar cake - the one that vanquished Aldi's inferior copycat Cuthbert cake in the courts. The M&S super premium 'You're So Worth It' Christmas dinner range now includes Liz the Lettuce. Liz is prepared according to a Nigella recipe and is supplied ready for roasting. Just drizzle with truffle oil and whack her in the oven. It's the perfect accompaniment to the M&S Kwasi the Turkey, which has just the one wing, on the

Want to pop something into your loved ones stocking? Need a secret Santa for your office colleague? Feel the need to wind up the Reform voter in your family? There's still time to order a NewsBiscuit book or four from Amazon in time for the festive day. Thousands of short stories, one-line gags and the odd cartoon amongst the four books, all available at the click of a link, below. Earth to be Recycled Five go Dobbing in the Neighbours 15 Years of Typos Lego to Replace Bitc

England manager Thomas Tuchel has rebuffed claims that his side is lucky after being drawn in the same 2026 World Cup group as American 70s disco outfit Village People. The band brought Friday’s World Cup draw to a close performing their smash hit ‘YMCA’ moments after unexpectedly been drawn to face England in group L next summer. The group is completed by the South-West Region Lidl works team, and the winner of the play-off between Easter Island and the Harlem Globetrotters

Passengers on the West Coast line between London and Glasgow have been treated by psychologists after being subjected to an ‘endless barrage of trivia’ from train manager Darren Jones, 32. Their ordeal started when Mr Jones was innocently handed a microphone. NewsBiscuit sent a reporter on the service, but he had to be stretchered off at Oxenholme Lake District station after self-harming. Here is some of the disturbing content he recorded: ‘. . . sandwiches, hot drinks and

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Oscar winning director, Peter Jackson, currently enjoying huge success with his Beatle's documentary "Get Back" has announced he is...

Researchers in Russia have learned that Russians are becoming tired of the Limited Military Operation started over three years ago, are fed up with prices rising exponentially and are quite frankly frightened about the Ukrainian missiles destroying half the petrochemical sites in Russia.  They also are worried about the more than one million Russians who appear to have either died in combat or lost their limbs. As a result, the polling for the 2026 elections are showing a ser

President Trump says that he will use America might, negotiating skills, and tariffs, to bring peace to Eurovision ‘in 24 hours’. ‘We have some spare capacity, as things are progressing very well with Russia, Ukraine, Israel, Palestine and FIFA,’ said the President. ‘My plan is a very good plan, and it will bring peace very quickly. Although I must remind everyone in Yerp, and Israel, that delivering the 24-point plan will require concessions about territory and mineral rig

The BBC’s Panorama programme announced today it has some more clips of President Trump saying awful things. The clips appear to show Trump admitting the moon landings were faked, confessing to being the Boston Strangler, encouraging John Wilkes-Booth to assassinate Abraham Lincoln and telling the residents of Pompeii not to worry as 'Vesuvius always makes noises like that.' However, critics have pointed out that the footage seems very jerky, suggesting these are different bit