The statue of Winston Churchill in Parliament Square declared: ’Never in the field of human governance was so little done for so many by one mad old bat. This idea will get a big bronze V-sign from me.’
Prime Minister David Cameron has launched a major apologising tour of the Commonwealth with a gala performance in India, where he has commemorated the 1919 Amritsar massacre with a critically acclaimed rendition of the Elton John classic ‘Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word’.
In a bid to place the BBC’s ailing light entertainment reputation in ‘safer hands’ the corporation has announced that irritable news anchor Jeremy Paxman will front its new It’s a Knockout programme, assisted by humourless war correspondent Orla Guerin.
Westley Books, a by-word in the publishing industry for ill-judged, poorly timed and just plain wrong publishing ventures, has reported a significant annual trading loss for the fourth year on the trot.
Sir David Attenborough, still revelling in the success of the astonishing ‘Africa’ series, has embarked on his next televisual adventure. Filming began secretly two years ago amid majestic landscapes on an epic four year voyage, this time recording never before seen footage of the shy, elusive, yet ubiquitous Professor Brian Cox going about his business in all his natural, exotic habitats.