ArtsBiscuit
Sociologists have predicted that the number of novels about academics trying to bring down ancient, clandestine groups which have influence that stretches into the upper echelons of society and are fiercely protective of their secrets, will number around three million by the end of June.
It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery.
‘It’s as if they’ve caught some kind of illness where nothing whatsoever can be described as ordinary or mundane. In fact during the final we feared that Gregg was going to spontaneously combust at one point.’
The song ‘Cannonball’ by singer-songwriter Damien Rice was found dead today in an incident that police say they are treating as murder. X-Factor winners Little Mix are being sought in connection with the death. ‘Cannonball’ was just nine years old.
‘It could all come down to who does the best job of sounding sincere while announcing tax cuts they are in no position to deliver. Will Amelia Lily’s reduction in fuel duty prove more popular than Little Mix’s improved public sector pensions? Only time will tell.’
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