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1D-Day celebrations commemorate the death of music

if it wasn't for our brave boys, they'd be called 'Eine Richtung'Veterans, historians and girls with retainers are united today in marking 1D-Day a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome lacklustre hair, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of France. Former groupies, internet trolls and serving members of the armed forces all paid their respect for the loss of melodies, the death of legible tattoos and remembered just how many ears had paid the ultimate sacrifice.

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BBC asks Google to ‘forget the 1970s’

Bosses at the BBC have instructed the tech team at Google to ‘completely forget everything that happened in the 1970s’, after the Internet search giant launched a service to allow Europeans to ask for information and personal data to be removed from online search results.

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‘Godzilla vs Romanian’ movie in the pipeline

With a resurgence in fears of both Godzilla and Romanians, British filmmakers have discussed another possible reboot of the Godzilla movie franchise by pitting the Japanese monster against a Romanian immigrant.

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Pro-Russian Ukranians hold ‘unofficial’ Eurovision vote

the people have spokenRussian twins The Tolmachevy Sisters have won a landslide victory in the Eurovision Song Contest according to an unofficial poll which took place in areas held by Pro-Russian demonstrators in Eastern Ukraine.

Voting slips featured a photo of The Tolmachevy Sisters accompanied by the Russian flag, while ‘everyone else’ was represented by a photo of dead WW2 Russians accompanied by a Swastika. After votes were counted, the Russian singing duo were duly declared winners with an impressive 108% of the popular vote.

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BBC’s Jezza could topple ‘at any time’ as more cracks appear

the most iconic icon... in the woorldThe BBC’s iconic monolith ‘Jezza’ is in danger of collapsing due to its ‘feet of clay’ and ‘teeny, weeny, tiny, toe’ say experts.
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