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Cameron, Clegg and Osborne to star in new C4 docu-soap: ‘The Unrelateables’

There must be someone out there who can love themChannel 4 has announced its Spring schedule today, confirming that viewers will be treated to a unique documentary that explores the struggle to gain wider acceptance between those afflicted with Serious Political Influence (SPI), and ‘regular people’.

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BBC’s Desert Island Discs in illegal colonisation row

World ServiceRadio 4 bosses have been summoned to the Foreign Office to answer questions following accusations of ‘rampant’ and ‘illegal’ colonisation of desert islands. Pacific island leaders have delivered a joint complaint to Foreign Secretary, William Hague in an attempt to halt the migration of potty professors, faded celebrities and unknown academics to hundreds of uninhabited islands in Micronesia and other areas of the Pacific.

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50% Tax Rate could ‘seriously delay next Gary Barlow album’

'If you stay by my side, we can rule the world,' says Ed BallsEd Balls’ announcement that he would reinstate the 50% tax rate has raised fresh concerns about top talent leaving Britain should Labour return to power at the next election.

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Beeping Smoke Alarm set to star at the Brit Awards

even getting plaudits from Fire BrigadeWhat began as a series of barely audible warning noises, has quickly become a front runner for the prestigious music prize in the UK, the Brit Awards. Having recently been painted black by its stylist, starred in an obligatory sex tape with Robin Thicke, Beeping Smoke Alarm (BSA) is set to be the most downloaded act of 2014 ‘once Dad has found the stepladder’.

Although, ironically, it has been nominated for Best Newcomer at the 2014 Brits, BSA has been quietly gathering dust in the spare bedroom for the last two years. It only came to the attention of talent scouts after its heavy duty battery ‘gave up the ghost’, creating a whole new sound that has sent clubbers into ecstasy.

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Unreality TV ‘will never catch on’, experts conclude

What a lot of effort!It was the surprise minority hit of 2013: stories seen on television that were not actually true in any sense but rather contained in ‘scripts’ produced by ‘writers’ and played out by trained professionals known in the industry as ‘actors’. Sometimes, analysts agree, Borgen even matched Eddie Stobart: Trucks & Trailers for excitement. However, most still dismiss Unreality TV as a passing fad.

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