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Africa closes its borders to migrant British bankers
Reports are surfacing that a rescue vessel containing hundreds of staff from British bank branches has been turned away from ports along the North African coastline. [read...]
BusinessBiscuit
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Colleague offers no explanation for wanting to ‘lock in’ a meeting time
A colleague who wants to lock in a meeting time with you has no previous experience as a pub landlord, prison warden, safe manufacturer or any other occupation that might explain the use of the term, [read...]
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Northern Rail reduces service to one stationary, 5,000-carriage train
Northern Rail revealed radical plans to deal with its timetable disruption today, with the announcement that it will now just place a single, completely stationary 5,000-carriage train on the tracks between Preston and the Lake District, [read...]
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Gangsters merge with high street drug retailer to create ‘Bovver Boots’
“Three thousand per cent profit on a medical mouth wash,” exclaimed Johnny, “we can’t get that kind of mark up on the street for coke or crack. We realised weve been in the wrong drugs game for years.” [read...]
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Bank of England reduces ‘compliment-inflation’ on Britain’s Got Talent
The Bank of England stepped in today to reduce the value of feedback offered by judges on BGT, amidst fears that the inflation of compliments on the show had reached unsustainable levels. The final trigger for action came on Saturday’s show, [read...]