BusinessBiscuit
A change in direction in UK industrial strategy was announced today, after the chancellor Phillip Hammond caught up on Series 12 of the Apprentice on BBC IPlayer. Resources and investment will now be directed toward those sectors covered in the tasks in each episode of the TV series. [read...]
The choices of Karaoke songs made by you and your work colleagues on a night out have no correlation with your on-the-job performance, confirmed your miserable boss today. The disappointing news was revealed during a works night out to the city-centre bar, [read...]
Analysts have finally admitted that share values have as much a relationship with politics, as Donald Trump does with Germaine Greer. With the FTSE being a marginally worse predictor of elections than pollsters, voters would be better served by reading chicken entrails or consulting a German-speaking octopus. [read...]
Global financial markets were in turmoil today after a Leeds bus driver announced that ‘I’m not the f*@king Bank of England, mate’, after a passenger tried to pay for a £2.80 fare with a ten pound note. [read...]
Just days away from what was traditionally its busiest day of the year, the Guy Fawkes effigy industry has finally collapsed after years of steady decline. All remaining effigy production stations on street corners have closed with immediate effect, [read...]
