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Maths boffins solve supermarket BOGOF quandary

buy one get another one somewhere else 'not a great deal' say Trading StandardsMathematicians at the University of Leicester have proved conclusively that whenever supermarkets use a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ offer they should place an even number of items on the relevant shelf.

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Unions condemn action as Union of Union-Workers votes to strike

jobs for the boys for the boys, and girls, brother, er, sisterThere were accusations and no small amount of confusion today as the Union of Union Workers announced an overwhelming vote by its members in favour of strike action in their long-running dispute with Union bosses over pay and union representation.

UwU boss Jim Cooper was in defiant mood following the results of today’s vote, threatening to bring chaos to the summer strike-season after 95% of the highly unionised Union-workers voted in favour of strikes.

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Gaviscon heartburn firemen call 24 hour strike

Britain is facing a heartburn epidemic after stomach-based firemen called a 24 hour stoppage. The pint-sized firefighters, employed by Gaviscon, walked out in sympathy with public sector firemen yesterday, leaving alimentary canals across Britain seriously undermanned.

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Dozens of British celebrities implicated in talent avoidance schemes

why wasn't the public told sooner?George Michael, Katie Melua and Gary Barlow are among a list of entertainers involved in massive talent avoidance schemes – all completely within the bounds of the law, according to a leaked report.

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Airfix criticised for not including any aircraft with scale model of HMS Queen Elizabeth

mustn't grumbleUpset parents have been calling for a boycott of Airfix after their new 1:350 scale, self-assembly model of the Royal Navy’s HMS Queen Elizabeth was launched without any tiny replica aircraft in the box.

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