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Teachers to talk about their divorces at primary school level

women(men) + home + life = hate + hate + hate + despairChildren as young as five will now be given compulsory lectures on their teachers’ domestic hell as Divorce Education is made compulsory in primary schools. The move comes amid fears children are accessing material such as Don’t Tell the Bride and One Born Every Minute, as well as websites depicting couples in healthy loving relationships, and getting a skewed impression of what marriage is really like.

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Old dogs no longer funded for trick-based education

might as well just curl up and sleep on it in front of the fireThe Department for Business Innovation and Skills (BIS) has decided to cut 24% from the adult education budget to remove a culture of just ‘fetching sticks’ and looking cute.

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Rocketing private school prices spark fears of elitism

best education comes in small packages - usually brown envelopes stuffed with cashA report showing that Private School fees are at an all-time high has triggered fears that the institutions could become ‘elitist’ and ‘against the principle of equality of opportunity’.

New analysis shows that, because of rising demand from Middle Eastern oil barons, Russian political exiles and South American drug lords, school fees have, on average, trebled in the past thirty years; pricing out all but the richest from access to top rated schools.

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‘Excesssively moderate’ Islamic State school put into special measures

they're learning tolerance, for God's sakeIslamic State’s education standards watchdog Ofrain (Office for Radical Indoctrination) has downgraded the struggling nation’s one and only school to ‘inadequate’ after their inspectors discovered a worrying lack of extremism and a failure to safeguard pupils from literacy, numeracy, science, history and geography.

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Ofsted criticises ‘simplistic’ Jihadi Janet & John books

nothing like as convincing as an ISIS iPhone appPoor teaching materials are being blamed for falling standards of radicalisation in state schools, according to a recent Ofsted inspection. When Year 8-10 pupils should be reading the Qu’ran and instructions on how to make cluster bombs, all too many are still looking at the simplistic dogma of Jihadi Janet and John.

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