NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

HealthBiscuit

David Cameron pledges to end GP shortage by sending all of us to medical school

dissenters urged to take aspirin and come back in a fortnight if they still feel the sameIn a bold move, the Conservative leader has pledged to keep all under-25s in education, meaning a bumper crop of GPs, and the occasional frighteningly large kid who never quite made it out of primary school.

Read more >



Welsh economy set to boom after go-ahead for ‘organ farms’

yachi da, hwyl fawrWelsh farmers are quietly ditching traditional farming in favour of new, more profitable uses of the countryside, after a historic decision by the Welsh Assembly to legalise the trade in human organs.

The soundtrack in the fields on Monmouthshire, Powys and beyond is already changing from the bleating of sheep who’ve mislaid their lambs, or forgotten where their food is until they look down, into cries of plaintive anguish from ramblers who are being systematically rounded up on Welsh hillsides, crammmed into pens and fattened for market.

Read more >



Half of UK population ‘will die in the future’

At least half of the current UK population will die of something fatal at some point in the future, a stark new medical report has suggested.

Eternal Life Research Group Plc., which commissioned the report, has said that the country is facing a ‘medical time bomb’ and the Government needs to take action now.

Read more >



Britain’s toilet seat makers celebrate yet another germ comparison study triumph

Britain’s toilet seat makers were cock a hoop last night after ‘cleaning up’ in yet another bacteria benchmark.

Read more >



Accident & Emergency services to be outsourced to vets’ surgeries

highly competitive service delivery at the point of need‘It makes complete sense that when a vet is not treating Fido or Tiddles for ticks, they open their doors to patients who may have had a stroke, major trauma injury or a saucepan stuck on their head,’ said Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

Read more >