Following successful experiments teaching chimpanzees to use sign language, Dr Greg Watts has announced the first examples of human teen speech. ‘What we were all taught in medical school is that the vocal chords go through a maturation process, and that inarticulacy is inevitable during the adolescent phase.
Following the accidental discovery of the missing short proof of ‘Fermat’s last theorem’ halfway through a pineapple upside down cake last week, the scientific community, religious groups and anyone with a point to prove have been contemplating and eating puddings.
Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’
Apple’s CEO has given his support to alternate sexualities but refused to endorse any music player that refuses to sync with other devices. A spokesman for the global corporation admitted: ‘We need to be tolerant of all MP3 players regardless of brand. As a market leader we need to be more accepting of others – even if Windows Media Player is a crime against nature’.
For over 30 years, ice cube tray manufacturers have been engaged in a race to develop a container from which frozen water can never be extracted. Today UK company Pro-Plastic has been recognised for making the first container from which ice cubes cannot be retrieved, irrespective of the cunning and skill of the users.