ScienceBiscuit
Aliens have confirmed that they’ve never landed on Earth because they can’t stomach easy listening music. ‘We buzzed a Lighthouse Family concert in Tunbridge Wells and thought “Has it really come to this?”’ said a spokesextraterrestrial.
Nasa scientists admit they’ve lost control over Curiosity since the Rover started to use its $50million robotic arm to skim pebbles across an ancient Martian sea.
NASA already planning five-year missions around the solar system to find the huge, inter-galactic, bastard cat who did it.
Scientists everywhere have been left red faced today as it has been revealed that the whole standard model theory of particle physics is entirely fictional.
For years, billions of pounds have been pumped into state of the art labs to fund so called ‘particle accelerators’ in the hope that the secrets of the big bang are revealed. ‘It’s all complete bollocks,’ admitted moptopped lab boy Brian Cox. ‘What a scam! It’s the greatest joke the science community has ever staged and you all fell for it –suckers.’
Scientists today unveiled a solution to the centuries-old design fault in babies which causes them to start crying in the middle of the night and not stop until their parents get up and do something about it.
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