WorldBiscuit
The reason for North Korea’s nuclear test earlier this week became clear today as state television in Pyongyang announced that Dear Leader Kim Jong-un had personally used the weapons to deflect an asteroid which, contrary to vicious Western propaganda, would otherwise have hit the Earth.
Detective Sergeant Fred Blomqvist was in no way downcast last night after falling victim to the latest in a series of personal and work-related traumas.
Britain has been forced to issue an apology today for drunkenly trying to get into France by mistake after a heavy night out celebrating on New Year’s Eve.
There has been widespread disappointment among the planet’s male population as Britain woke up today to find that the Doomsday forecast by the Ancient Mayans’ ‘long count’ failed to happen.
There were jubilant scenes across the Middle East last night, as the bitter dispute between Israel and its Arab neighbours finally ended, thanks to a series of Tweets from two individuals on opposite sides of the argument.
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