While the world has feared that South Africa’s revered former president, Nelson Mandela, may not have long to live, his aides remain unconcerned and insist there is no way he will be taken from us before he has finished every last item on the ‘bucket list’ he drew up in his final year in prison on Robben Island.
Disney World in Orlando, Florida has become the first theme park in the world where staff dressed as adorable, stereotypical characters can be shot on sight if they ‘step too close’ or appear to be on the verge of causing emotional trauma in visiting adults and children.
The Egyptian army have removed the Muslim Brotherhood from power after they consistently attempted to deliver on their manifesto commitments, dashing hopes of a nascent Western-style democracy run by bunglers, liars and posh clueless twats nobody voted for.
Demonstrators in Tahrir Square have issued an ultimatum to the governing Muslim Brotherhood Party: ‘Give the people of Egypt a mid-term by election or maybe some boring council elections, otherwise we will unseat your government.’
One year on from General Elections, they say that the people of Egypt have taken to the streets because they are desperate to ‘let off steam by voting for some stupid unelectable berk or other’.
Cairo remains in the grip of civil unrest, as Egyptians realise that the expensive bottled ‘democracy’ that had been marketed throughout the Arab region may just be the ‘bog standard’ drinking variety. Despite the luxurious packaging, extensive retailing and U.S. endorsement there is a growing suspicion that this ‘democracy’ may not be as refreshing as once thought. President Mohammed Morsi has been accused of having the same still, slightly bland taste of previous regimes.