US Secretary of State John Kerry, who reluctantly agreed to the idea, said: ‘It’s going to be tough, but we’ve received some really helpful support packs from NATO on how to control the urges we’re likely to face over the coming weeks.
‘We have strong suspicions that the truck wasn’t taxed,’ said an aerial reconnaissance expert, ‘or maybe the owner removed the tax disc a day early. Either way, it certainly didn’t look roadworthy, and almost certainly wouldn’t have passed its MOT had it not been destroyed.
Animal rights activists have reacted in horror after the exponential rise in meerkat numbers throughout Europe forced Russian authorities to introduce a genetically modified strain of the myxomatosis virus into the village of Meerkovo.
After the landmark ruling by Judge Thokozile Masipa that the killing of Reeva Steenkamp cannot be declared ‘murder’, the International Olympic Committee is considering proposals to introduce new sports to the next Games. High on the list are ‘hitting a barn door with a banjo’, and ‘shooting fish in a barrel’.
The latter proposal has attracted lucrative sponsorship deals from the NRA, with outline competition criteria already in place. A single dead fish among 500 packed into a 3-foot diameter barrel has been set as the ‘entry-level’ qualification for athletes. Competitors will be allowed at least 4 shots per round, and should be standing really close to the barrel, which must be locked to prevent the fish escaping.