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Bin Laden cassettes ‘a dangerous collection of 80s cheese’

It has been revealed today that a collection of audio cassettes seized from Osama Bin Laden’s abandoned Afghan compound, actually contain an alarming amount of 80s pop tunes.

Brett Rogers, one of the first U.S. Navy Seals to enter the compound, claimed he was alerted to Bin Laden’s whereabouts by the distant melodic tones of Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It. ‘Well the lyrics do say that “this dance ain’t for everybody, only for the sexy people” obviously I took it as a sign’.

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‘Chinese financial woes made me molest goat’ claims defendant

A Gosport man who appeared in court on charges of outraging public decency, sexual assault and animal cruelty, has blamed his ‘regrettable’ behaviour on the volatility of global finance.

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Chinese economy to become largest online betting site

Betfair, Paddy Power and ‘all our pension funds’ are set to merge into the world’s most irresponsible gambling company – China™.

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Swarm of British migrants ‘ruining’ Greek island

EU leaders have warned that a surging tide of migrants from Britain is threatening to overwhelm the Greek island of Kos.

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Daily Mail exclusive: Cecil the lion was depraved serial killer

Actually, he was beastly!For days, the left has been wringing its hands on social media over the fate of ‘Cecil’, the iconic African lion who was shot dead by a brave, freedom-loving American hunter armed only with a high-powered crossbow. Now, however, the ugly truth about this distasteful animal is slowly beginning to emerge.

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