Winner: SirLupus Runners-Up: "At the White Supremacist Bingo Hall, everyone loved Lucky Heather." (Midfield Diamond); "Helen's habit of punching everyone who took a card was beginning to annoy the regulars." (FlashArry)

Morning Queues What should have been a simple process of rocking up to the venue entrance, showing your credentials, and undergoing a...

Residents of the nation’s most haunted homes have come together to demand their ghosts stop being such dicks.

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"The royal family have stripped their wayward relative of his titles and exiled him to obscurity in the maddeningly flat fastness of Norfolk," announced a spokes-flunkey for Buckingham Palace. "And having scuttled for cover by pretending he no longer exists, it is now their dearest wish to return to being a family of dull people with very boring thoughts and pursuits and nothing to say unless it has been written down for them to read out. "From time to time, mavericks crop up

author: writinginbsl

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Saturday sees the start of the 2021 Autumn Internationals, where the three ‘home nations’ – and Wales – will rugby against bigger and...

hat tip to deskpilot

Aries You will meet someone tomorrow that will change your life in a profound way. Or you could just pay that tax and everything will be back to normal. Taurus Unfortunately, the cat got at your charts so the reading has somewhat slewed. Watch out for hairballs, the wrong kind of litter and the smell of tuna. Keep working on that purr, and avoid mice at all times, no matter how tasty they may look. Gemini Using a fairground as a metaphor, your life, so far, Has been all swing

In a wide ranging and extensive investigation, Newsbiscuit has concluded that, contrary to many emails, MILFs in your area are not looking for you, or indeed, anyone. After a flurry of mysterious and enticing emails, Newsbiscuit reporters decided to follow up on the promise of consequence-free, morally casual horizontal delights. We put to the test as to whether there was a cache of eager middle-aged women (we discounted DILFs and GILFs for this report) geographically near, s

"It's the bigliest meeting ever in the history of bigly meetings," boasted Donald Trump on board Hot Air Force One. "I slashed the rates on all my tariffs on China and, in return, Mr Xi said he might stop refusing to sell us his rare earth metals. But he didn't actually agree to anything on paper because ironing out the details was too boring for me. "Then he said he might think about helping to end the war in Ukraine by maybe talking to Putin about it some time in the future

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Aries You will meet someone tomorrow that will change your life in a profound way. Or you could just pay that tax and everything will be back to normal. Taurus Unfortunately, the cat got at your charts so the reading has somewhat slewed. Watch out for hairballs, the wrong kind of litter and the smell of tuna. Keep working on that purr, and avoid mice at all times, no matter how tasty they may look. Gemini Using a fairground as a metaphor, your life, so far, Has been all swing

A single woman in her 20s has shocked family, friends and work colleagues alike by admitting she doesn't like Ru Paul's Drag Race. Simone...