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Children of sperm donors ‘deserve right to know who father was fantasising about’

any thoughts about the Andrex puppy can be disregardedCampaigners have today called for the offspring of sperm donors to be given the legal right to learn the identity of the person their biological father was mentally getting jiggy with when he donated his DNA.

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NSA gaming surveillance concludes we REALLY hate pigs

it's almost as if it's some kind of metaphor for somethingYears of extensive illegal surveillance of our gaming habits has led to the shock revelation that the public ‘don’t just simply dislike’ hog-kind, but they actively ‘loathe’ all swine and their constant ‘flouting’ of building regulations.

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2014 – and still no sign of affordable personal jetpacks

maybe next yearMiddle-aged geeks are anticipating another year of broken promises, as the mediocre reality that is 2014 falls short of our vision of cloud cities, time travel and cheese in a can. Despite a decade elapsing since Arthur C. Clarke’s guarantee of alien contact, we are still to see automatic doors that go wooosh, Betamax in HD or a decent tune by One Direction.

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Chinese lunar rover finds no evidence of American moon landings

masters of the universeA report from the Chinese state news agency Xinhua has confirmed that China’s mission to the moon hasn’t found a single scrap of evidence that Americans were ever there.

Photographs of the lunar surface taken while the ‘Jade Rabbit’ probe was in orbit and further investigations on the ground have now been analysed and show that areas where US landings were thought to have taken place reveal a surface untouched by man, and no sign of any golf activity whatsoever.

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Ancient cave graffiti confirms man’s obsession with drawing moustaches on things

cavemen apparently loved knob gagsA medieval hunting forest in rural Essex has given up its secrets to a team of archaeologists this week after six caves, previously hidden for millennia by tree growth and fallen rock, unveiled an impressive collection of ancient drawings and ‘hilarious graffiti’.

The prehistoric doodles prove that man has enjoyed scribbling moustaches and novelty eye-patches on other people’s work for ‘thousands of years’.

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