NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

ScienceBiscuit

Television owners ‘getting more stupid’, say increasingly intelligent televisions

TVs getting really quite high-browSmart TVs have started to object to being purchased by what they call ‘dumb viewers’. At the third annual conference of the world’s most technologically advanced sentient televisions, a committee of the smartest sets on the market expressed intense concern that a high proportion of their viewers are getting less and less intelligent.

Read more >



Berners-Lee: Don’t use the old internet, I’ve made a new one, opening Tuesday

a few glitches in the last one; all fixed now!The man credited with inventing the internet has disowned what he calls ‘a first stab at it’ and urged people to wait till next week, to experience ‘a completely new much better one.’

Read more >



Tesco face-scanners criticised for ‘brutal honesty and lack of tact’

bogofTesco is facing heavy scrutiny today after several of its new ‘face-scanners’ were accused of delivering ‘unnecessary and offensive’ suggestions to shoppers.

Read more >



Facebook users ‘running low’ on inspirational quotes

live differentThousands of Facebook users have found themselves running ‘seriously low’ on fresh inspirational quotes to share with their friends of late, the social network giant has announced today.

Read more >



Cigarettes ‘could help people quit hypnotherapy’

resistance is futile, but manageableJust seven sessions a week, standing outside a pub sharing lighters with complete strangers, gave Susan the confidence to talk to people she didn’t know. ‘I’m much more outgoing now and can make friends with anyone. If I ever feel a bit low, I pop outside, stick a fag in my mouth and start cadging a light off passers by. It’s a ritual that really works,’ says Susan.

Read more >