Smart TVs have started to object to being purchased by what they call ‘dumb viewers’. At the third annual conference of the world’s most technologically advanced sentient televisions, a committee of the smartest sets on the market expressed intense concern that a high proportion of their viewers are getting less and less intelligent.
Just seven sessions a week, standing outside a pub sharing lighters with complete strangers, gave Susan the confidence to talk to people she didn’t know. ‘I’m much more outgoing now and can make friends with anyone. If I ever feel a bit low, I pop outside, stick a fag in my mouth and start cadging a light off passers by. It’s a ritual that really works,’ says Susan.