The South Africa-based arms manufacturer, Desert Wolf, has secured sales to a mining company wishing to ‘stamp out’ illicit middle-class soirees and those who overstep the international boundaries of dinner party etiquette. To this end ‘Skunk Drones’, disguised as ornithological pepper mills, will spray anyone seen to be ignoring dress codes, arriving late without a gift for the hostess or ‘using the wrong soup spoon’.
After the final €20 million block of funding was agreed by European Science ministers late in 2013 construction has finally begun on the Super Kaleidoscope – the world’s largest – high in the Chilean Andes.
To packed conference in California, Google co-founder, Sergey Brin revealed plans to manufacture a vehicle that will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on ‘pejorative terms for Asians’.
The use of pioneering new quantum goal-line technology developed by the Schrödinger Research Institute in Berlin, which was intended to be the most accurate ever, has resulted in a near infinite level of confusion in the German amateur league where it is being trialled.
The documents leaked by Edward Snowden have yielded what may be their most shocking revelation yet: plans to infect millions of computers with malware to prevent them from working properly. This was devised by the NSA in consultation with a shady billionaire, unofficially named as ‘Bill Gates’, who had close links to many different arms of the US government.