October 2024
After all that stuff about a fiscal black hole, and the winter fuel payment thing, there was considerable anxiety about the Budget. Sound familiar? Rachel Reeves delivered her budget on October 30th and whacked businesses with big rises in National Insurance and minimum wage costs. Still, at least she didn’t break any manifesto commitments. Kind of. The Conservatives continued to grind through a leadership election process, hampered by the complete lack of any decent candidates. Just think, back then Robert Jenrick was still considered middle of the road.
In the US, presidential candidate Kamala Harris (remember her?} released her medical records. And Donald Trump continued to not release his.
In entertainment news, Jeremy Clarkson had a cardiac thingy, and had to go to the NHS. Turns out, he does have a heart. Who knew? In sporting news, female pensioners were aghast at Wimbledon’s plans to remove their eye candy, and replace line judges with Hawkeye. No, not the guy from M*A*S*H.
Here is a selection of the top Newsbiscuit stories from October 2024. Click through to read the stories and see the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.
UK politics
US and world politics
Jeremy Clarkson
Dodgy moment during Clarkson heart operation as the surgeon’s hand slipped and Jeremy’s nose lit up.
Other news
Headlines - politics
Lettuce makes late bid for Tory leadership
Burning rubbish overtakes politics as dirtiest form of power
After attacking UN, Israel to start stomping on kittens
Gen Z and Gen Alpha reject GenRick
Special episode of Little Britain to feature Badenoch & Jenrick
Starmer: I won't raise taxes for working people... but Rachel will...
'Feels like 14 years already' says Starmer
All of Starmer's decisions so far described as complete no-brainers
Strange drone over the Pentagon revealed to be a broadcast of Keir Starmer’s speech
Tory party lumbered with choice between two Liz-Truss-calibre leadership candidates
...more headlines...
Are you wasting your time online? Take our quiz to find out
Barefoot man finally realises Socktober is not a thing
Charity regrets its slogan 'Let's help bone cancer patients'
Are transparent urns the future? Remains to be seen
Local selling Cuban food, drink and cigars becomes Castro pub
Elderly nuns to star in action movie Old Habits Die Hard
Local dog-sitter flattened hundreds of pups
Man with a chip on his shoulder attacked by seagulls
...and some more...
Woman who wants to have her cake and eat it buys two cakes
Man who ‘always goes the extra mile’ sacked from taxi driver job
Man who fights fire with fire sacked from the Fire Service
Printer admits it hasn’t run out of ink, it’s just taking the p!ss
Where to look to see the comet passing by for the first time in 800,000 years. Up.
London Eye 'on the blink'
Hawk-Eye to replace line judges? You can NOT be serious!!
Man enters 11th hour of 5-minute DIY task
