NewsBiscuit: Best of November 2024

November 2024

November 2024 was a decisive month. Things happened. In the UK, Rachel Reeves delivered her first budget and whacked up taxes on businesses and whacked up taxes on dead farmers. In the US of A, the voters elected a whacked up President, leaving all the pollsters wondering how they’d got it so wrong. The Conservatives elected Kemi Badenoch as leader; she immediately went into hiding and hasn’t been seen since.

Manchester United appointed Ruben Amorim as manager. There was some controversy about Rachel Reeves’ CV, with suggestions that she might have overstated her qualifications. And the Charity Commission published a report slating Captain Tom’s family for mismanagement.

In health news, the media went crazy about weight loss jabs. Just a thin excuse for journos to claim back the cost of jabs as ‘research’. A thin excuse. See what I did there? In entertainment news, that guy from the crisp adverts quit Match of the Day.

Here is a selection of the top NewsBiscuit stories from November 2024. Click through to read the stories and see the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.

UK politics

'Labour sucked all the fun out of the budget' complain Tories

Council transfers all its roads and potholes to a community trust

Another massive compo payout for the ill-informed and easily manipulated

Badenoch and Man Utd manager in race to get sacked first

US politics

Trump 'getting a few last crimes in' before election day

Liberal US celebs compete to be most upset at Trump victory

Monkeys will never type Shakespeare but can become President

Culture, Media and Sport

Petition to bring back 'Spangles' passes 2 million signatures

Jamie Oliver pulls children’s book after criticism for stereotyping Mockneys

Guardian staff to receive counselling for bad weather

Devastating new side effect of Ozempic - articles about the side effects of Ozempic

Rooney quits Plymouth to take on Christmas job as store Santa

Finite number of monkeys still good for Mrs Brown's Boys scripts

Headlines - politics 

Result of tomorrow's free and fair US election announced today by Russia

Democratic Party donors ask for refunds       

103% of Americans say election pollsters got it wrong

Rachel Reeves' CV reveals she's been an astronaut, head of the UN and Archbishop of Canterbury

Chancer of the Exchequer

Farm death tax 'Won't cost farming industry much' yet will raise tons of money for the Govt?!

Headlines - professions

Arsonists Anonymous promise new members a warm welcome

Struggling tree surgery company to cut half its branches

Astronomer caught moonlighting

Farmer who fell under plough says the experience was harrowing

Headlines – entertainment

Eric Morecambe auction catalogue has all the right lots, not necessarily in the right order

Gary Lineker to get Testimonial Episode of MOTD

Petition to abolish 'signing for things' gets no signatures

New breed of dog cleans up after itself - it's called a Retriever-Poo

Captain Tom's family to star in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels remake

Other headlines

DIY store selling doors for £1.00 say there are no catches

IVF postcode lottery 'not fair' - "I didn't even want a baby" says pensioner

Cut this one thing out to drastically stop ageing... birthdays

Man who bought full-fibre broadband still constipated

Image credit: deep dream generator