NewsBiscuit - Best of June 2024

June 2024

In June 2024, the General Election campaign in the UK was all-consuming and there was no escape. The Tories continued to announce new policies that they could have enacted in office, but hadn’t bothered to. Labour continued to say as little as possible. Migrants arriving in small boats continued to be a big political issue. The government did successfully get rid of one unwanted migrant, however, as the infamous freeloader Julian Assange finally returned to Australia.

The stories we posted in June 2024 seemed to presage the election result. There was a lot of poking fun at the Conservatives, with a side order of incredulity about Reform, and a degree of tolerance for Ed Davey’s cunning stunts.

With hindsight, it seems impossible that the Conservatives could have survived such a satirical onslaught. And so it proved to be. We’re taking all the credit.

Almost all other news was squeezed out. But there is always room for a royal story, and Princess Anne provided some light relief by getting kicked in the head by a horse. We assume it was a horse. She can’t remember. It can’t have been Andrew, because he was getting a pizza. And Sir Ian McKellen engaged in some ill-advised crowd-surfing after falling off the stage at the RSC.

Here is a selection of the top stories from June 2024. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.

General Election Stories

Tory election campaign wins Turner Prize

Horrified Tories realise how much work is needed to rebuild

TV Election Debates: Five Key Take-Aways

Tories to shake up the NHS with the return of the 'wise woman'

Sir Ed Davey demands “just one more go on the swings” before press conference

Tories betting on what will happen to Tories found guilty of betting on election date

Farage to be Reform candidate for every constituency

Government denies putting sharks in Channel is part of anti-migrant policy

The Not-The-Election Stories

Voters thrilled at prospect of new Sky TV channel 'Watching Paint Dry

Cat hacks bank after realising his name was the password

Time again for politicians to pretend they like football

Selected headlines from June 2024

Bingo callers introduce "Gamblers' Den" for number 10

Baby delivered in car came with free coke and garlic bread

Tories walking slowly investigated by Ambling Commission

Chip van commemorates D-Day with a frypast

Ed Davey completes tour of all Britain's theme parks

Julian Assange disappointed at missing out on Rwanda

Rishi: Go back to your constituencies and prepare for oblivion

Tory manifesto launched on the side of a driverless bus

Ventilation expert disappointed by Onlyfans website  

Princess Anne in a stable condition

MP having buttock reduction surgery afraid he might lose his seat

Fire brigade called to massive blaze in Rishi Sunak's pants drawer

Sir Ian McKellen to star in stage adaptation of 'The Fall Guy'

Man who had a large mole removed from nose says 'the worst thing was those front claws'

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