Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month October 2026
Deskilot has cleared the board again, getting published in every category. Jeremynh has come a creditable second followed by eppursimouove and Katipo.
As usual all the links to the subs follows the leaderboard, followed by the links to the cartoons published and the all-important Cartoon of the Month. Finally the full list of headlines is at the end of this post.
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
antharrison
apepper
BillClay
cerebrovore
Chipchase
Chrisf
cliveosman
daveha
Deskpilot
eppursimuove
Burnham announces next important policy to tackle UK concerns and interests – review parking charges
Gerontius
jeremynh
Katipo
Lockjaw
MartinH
Midfield Diamond
Modelmaker
mrstrellis
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Rogerg
rogt
Rowly
Scribbles
Sir Lupus
Sketchly
stewartbarclay
Sully
Teppic
Throngsman
Titus
wally dug
Wrenfoe
Cartoons
Deskpilot
dominic_mcg
Katipo
Lockjaw
Modelmaker
Sketchly
urbanhermit
Cartoon of the month goes to Lockjaw with First day of early release scheme for prisoners
Headlines
adrian bamforth
Russell Brand asks prosecutor what she's doing later
Trick-or-treaters to be paid in cryptocurrency
apepper
Here lies Jeffrey Archer
bigbadbob
Escapologist would give refund after failed show but his hands are tied
cliveosman
Budget 2026: Healey's eyebrows 'A disappointment'
Burnham calls for referendum on whether we should have a referendum
daveha
Ali G black listed
Covid inquiry being held in children's play park. 'Next slide please'.
Flight manual typo: should have said 'ASK the captain'
Navy to boost its carrier strike group by adding a bag for life
New starter at clothing alterations business thinks she has been taken in
NI secretary rains on Drumcree parade
Police investigate Epstein's Bal-immoral stay with Andrew
Deskpilot
Conveyor manufacturer tightens his belt
Man United line up their next three managers
Man with creased clothes diagnosed with iron deficiency
Melania to solve Israel-Gaza next
Stockpile Xmas decorations to avoid paper chain disruption
Tom Cruise film Digger gets Oscar for biggest flop and FIFA Best Film Award
Tories promise to plant ten thousand acres of magic money trees
Zoo staff may have accessed tiger's medical records
dominic_mcg
Disgruntled lumberjack has axe to grind
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Storm Austen is coming
'No room for racists in Reform', says Farage. 'But there is a waiting list.'
dumbing down
Public outrage as serial housebreaker, Goldilocks, is released early
Edward Bartholomew Tetanus Bag
Cost of living forces barbers to cut back and sides
Future executions in USA to be live-streamed on Twitch
Pensioners told to cut back on avocado toast
eppursimuove
Lula's victory makes me wanna shout
ian searle
Andrew to apply for Legal Aid to sue Thames Valley Police
Man with neck brace says since he got it he hasn't looked back
Marston's Brewery going for a Burton
Mushroom Murderer will continue to be kept in the dark
jeremynh
Death of Katie Zacharia's career livestreamed on TV
Katipo
Aristocrats to pay reparations for their ancestors profiting from serfdom
Canadians buy Boots just in time for winter
Commuters who can't get seats seek end to standing charges
Healey to nationalise crypto hacking
Hello magazine runs a feature on constipated aristocrats and their stately piles
Man with pet sheep accused of feeling under the wether
Manicurist hit by rent increase hanging on by her fingernails
Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson wondering who will win Bellend D'Or?
Retiring Australian outback copper will miss his beat about the bush
Russian trawlers off the UK coast are on fishing expeditions
To improve spelling accuracy AI stops scanning The Guardian
Truck driver loses his load while watching porn on mobile
Yorkshire pudding workers not getting a rise
Lockjaw
Social influencer lives by babbling stream
Matilda
Harry Kane voted worlds best striker, UK doctors dispute this
Trump Administration - Were the Brits even involved in WW2 ?
mcdabble
Banks 'furious' about extra taxes, says PR consultant
Britons taken for Fuels
Burnham plans to devolve power to regional Strasbourg authorities
Burnham promises a bright future for EU
Civil servants with multiple jobs may explain failing government, say experts
Clockwork radios just a windup
Global terrorism suffering serious skills shortage
King under pressure to apologise for Norman invasion
SNP performs ritual Referendum Dance
Surprise as Trump 'seriously considering' something
Trump: I may have stepped on the Ukraine Starlink cable. Just a little bit
Woman given too much botox doesn't seem at all surprised
Modelmaker
Doncaster cat turns its nose up at usual food after sampling tastier stuff
mrstrellis
"Perviest Royal relative" competition gets new participant
Geoffrey Donaldson disappointed to hear that British inmates don’t wear Orange suits
rogerg
Heathrow third runway to be located in Doncaster
rowly
Self checkout customer stung as wasp flies past barcode reader
scribbles
Autopsy club announces they’re having an Open Mike night
Baker who sells giant pastries announces a massive turnover
Breast lift surgeon says his business is going tits up
Drunken man who fell over in a sauna says he was steaming
French chef says you don’t need 3 eggs to make an omelette. One egg is un oeuf
Illegal gun seller’s wares have been seized – lock, stock & barrel
Man enjoyed swimming with dolphins, he says they really clicked
Man hopes his new skydiving business will hit the ground running
Man paid for clearing up fallen leaves says he’s raking it in
Man prosecuted by RSPCA after being caught pulling his boxers off
Man says it was expensive to swim with sharks, it cost an arm and a leg
Plumber distraught at losing one of his tools says it’s a big wrench
Sobbing mechanic heading for a breakdown
Weather enthusiast says he was blown away by storm Boelo
sinnick
The French are revolting
sketchly
Chekov dons a red shirt
Death-row inmate in intensive care until she’s well enough for them to try to kill again
Door-to-door salesman realises this is probably not the best time for selling solar panels
Trump considering swapping lethal injection for a tiger enclosure
Trump has ICE agents round up all the marsupials to be sent back to Mars
Throngsman
Christa Pike likely to be dead before execution
Titus
Airline pilots injured in fight over which one gets the arm rest
Chancellor promises that things will get worse more slowly
Early release prisoners caught trying to tunnel back in, for free board & lodging
Future storm to be named 'Liz' in hope that it will be gone quickly
Plans to replace mathematicians with AI don't add up
Trump invites Liz Truss to come and be a more durable White House press secretary
tonymc
Burnham insists Drug dealers vital for Manchester economy
Doctors say Christa Pike has developed a phobia of needles
Kemi: Go home and prepare to get your snouts in the trough
Reform's Imperial Wizard insists they are not racist
wallydug
Burnham announces next important policy to tackle UK concerns and interests – review parking charges
Computer supplies store targeted by RAM raiders
Environmental protestors target Italian restaurant for its carbonara emissions
Pyrotechnics company fires boss
Trump ordered to answer questions truthfully under oath; Hell orders rock salt and de-icer
