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Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month June 2025



It might be one of the shorter months, but it looks like we have had record numbers of subs and headlines. James_doc has pulled out all the stops, scoring an incredible 56 points. Well done James. Deskpilot and eppusimouove have been running neck and neck through the month, with Desky pulling ahead by one point. Wren and mcdabble have also been in a slug-fest, too.


As usual, the cartoon of the month is below the full list of links to this month's subs and is itself followed by the full list of headlines.





Front Page, News in Brief and Features


Alba Late



Benvoleo



billclay




ChrisF



Chipchase





DavidH



Deskpilot








Dominic_mcg



eppursimuove













Garibaldi



Gerontius



herculepoisson



hokeyloki




ian searle



james_doc





















jim Skinz



jeremynh






Lockjaw



McDabble





Midfield Diamond



Modelmaker




sinnick



Sir Lupus



SteveB



Sully





Sydalg



thatwasbeast



Throngsman






Titus



Walter Eagle



watchermark





Wrenfoe












Cartoon of the month goes to BillClay with Trump 2028 Election slogan just dropped


Headlines


Adrian Bamforth      

  

Pavement fouling to be policed by faecial recognition software


Alba Late     

   

Flatmate Found Being Honest about the Bills


apepper          


Man addicted to fractions confined to quarters

Trump drops bunker buster, "I'd give it 10 minutes if I were you."."

Trump makes 3 hour speech saying he's not thinking about Elon


ashbery   

        

US bunker bomb capable of creating 1.5m terrorists


Benvoleo      

  

Bombing hospitals now bad, says Israel


bigbadbob     


Dads “reluctantly” take kids to see Kylie

Leg washes-up on beach, Police looking for one-legged man

Man repeatedly kicking self in nuts still claims to be a “stable genius”

Scotland to reach 25C, Met Office issues a Ginger alert

Trump branded mobile phone only available on Orange


Deskpilot       


Arsonist caught using burner phone

Climate change blamed for earliest ever start to summer travel chaos

Donald Trump keen to make Iran great again

Lion sanctuary something to take pride in

Man who fell sick at airport 'terminally ill'

Not Ukraine, says Putin. I set my own planes on fire

Orienteer disappointed by the Latitude Festival

Perfectly coiffed Starmer announces grooming gang inquiry

Rugby Union says concussion lawsuits are a real headache

Rumours of string quartet split 'baseless'

Tabloids in new search for Madeleine McCann headlines

Winter fuel: government castigated for doing the right thing


Dick Everyman      

     

Musk Rats


dominic_mcg 


Trump only bombs places he can spell


eppursimuove    

        

Wales issues drought warning after 'several hours without rain'


Granger       

    

Bezos wedding presents delivered to wrong address

Israel bombs Iranians to set them free!


ian searle     

  

Insults become the only trade which hasn't suffered under Trump

Jury retires in mushroom murder trial and is locked in a dark room

Trump calls off trade talks with Funky Pigeon dot com saying, "We hold all the cards"


James_doc    


Bargain Hunt Expert's Sentence May Increase at Auction

Claudia Winkleman to Receive MBE at Fringe Event

Click here for pictures of Princess Catherine's puppies

Kent Council DOGE Recommends Sevenoaks becomes Threeoaks

Poll shows public support National Service for others

Pornhub Leaves Mess After Pulling Out of France

Violence in Ballymena Raises Risk of New U2 Song


jim Skinz        

 

Bezos wedding guests furious at "no toilet breaks" rule

Sir Gary Oldman to star in The Dark Knighthood


JimmyDodger


Trump's X friend

Lockjaw          

How's your holiday in Marbella shaping up?


mcdabble     

 

Britain may still exist, says EU report

French police: 'why should we stop illegal migrants leaving France?'

If you can't end a war, start another one, says IDF

Iran promises to destroy Israel, as usual

Israel: 'Actually, we do have bunker-busting bombs, we just wanted to get US involved'

Loud trump and strange musk

New owners of Poundland to rename it 'Tennerland'

Russia accuses Europe of 'aggressive and unprovoked plans to defend itself'

Scotland still exists, says Government report

Trump considers lifting little finger to help Ukraine

Trump delivers threat from Putin

Trump demands Iran surrender but doesn't say to whom

Trump soon to complete 100 days of threatening to sanction Russia


Modelmaker  


Dignitas to sue British government over loss of earnings

Farage supports assisted lying bill

It's impossible not to get better as Tory leader, Badenoch says

Netanyahu urges Musk to relocate Spacex to Tehran

Parliamentary select committee sits on defence

Rachel Reeves: The economy turned a corner. Unfortunately we don’t know where it went after that'

Reform UK would invest in coal-powered AI says Farage

White House chaos visible from space


MrQ    


Government consider playing a back 5 to bolster defence

Man living life in the fast lane run-over

Microbiologist struggles to be seen or heard


philsmith        


Trump Adds Penguins to No-Fly List

Trump Asked To Stop Calling National Guard ‘Stormtoopers’


ron caweleyoni   

       

Giro de Italia winner to recieve his prize money cheque in a fortnight


rowly  


Jeremy Vine displays "Missile-ometer" for Israeli/Iran War

Rachael Reeves: British Economy is a trial run for assisted suicide


Sir Lupus    

    

Netanyahu says Iran was 45 mins away from making nukes

Reform renamed Hokey-Cokey Party


SteveB 


Latest Microsoft operating system to bring back hanging

Traffic Police v Parking Wardens goes to fixed penalties


Titus   


Critical report on water companies leaked

Iran policy - Trump proudly proclaims he does not know what he's doing

Record number of British competitors eligible for swift elimination from Wimbledon

Spending on smoke and mirrors to increase by 7.4% in real terms, says Reeves

Trump doubles tariff on arses, halves it on elbows, or neither, or both, then reverses it


tonymc      

      

Ex Private school parents panic buy nit shampoo after court decision

Farage insists that he would pass a lie detector: he would walk right past it

Grooming gang just hairdressers on a stag night say police

Illegal immigrants taking food delivery jobs from British pensioners

Impartial BBC declares Reform real winners of by election

Israel insist 'we are only killing the naughty children'

Israel report no IDF casualties from Glastonbury chanting

Nuclear only for nice countries says Starmer

Old people that want to die sooner advised to vote Reform Uk

Queen loved playing Pull My Finger with the kids, claims Kate

Search for more Reform Party candidates leaves no stone unturned

Snap Poll taken in Farage's kitchen shows Reform ahead

Starmer still worried socialists may try and infiltrate Downing Street

Tories won't waste money on NHS or housing vows Badenoch

Trump to address the UN about dangers of trophy wives

UK to provide Israel with de- escalating bombs


Walter Eagle  


'No, Elon. I am your father'




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