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Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month February 2026



A short but busy month, with Deskpilot leading the pack again, checking every box from Front Page through to hat tips. Big thanks to everyone who pitched subs, headlines and cartoons, whether you made the cut or not.


As usual, the cartoon of the month follows the leader board and full list of links to the published subs, then that is followed by the list of headlines that were published in February.



Front Page, News in Brief and Features


Adrian Bamforth



apepper



billclay









Chipchase




Chrisf



Danny Soz



Deskpilot














fles



Gerontius



Jeremynh










Lockjaw



McDabble



Modelmaker



Newsbiscuit Editorial Team





Oshaughnessy








robfalconer



rogt






Scribbles




Sinnick



Sir Lupus


Sketchly



SteveB



Sully





Throngsman















Titus



Walter Eagle



Wrenfoe









Cartoons


Cartoons supplied this month by: Deskpilot, Lockjaw, Modelmaker, sdferris5 and Sketchly


Cartoon of the month goes to Lockjaw with Greenland responds in kind to Trump's hospital ship


Headlines


Adrian Bamforth    

    

Madonna to replace Margate rollercoaster as UK's oldest ride

Mar-a-Lago introduces 'only one assassin allowed inside at any one time' policy

Wrong date on Epstein death certificate; someone didn't get the memo


bigbadbob     


Greek lovers looking forward to St Valentines Day moussaka

Met Police call Andrew for interview, put Emily Maitlis on standby

Mystery Stone Age writing revealed to say 'Two pints please, Milky'


BillClay   

         

FIFA dusts off it's 'Bomb Iran' Trophy

Starmer grateful Ratcliffe has colonised the news cycle

Trump accepts Dementia Awareness Award 3 times in one day


dannydodger 


Nasa aims to debunk moon landing conspiracies by not landing on the moon


Deskpilot      

 

Andrew continues on his mission to destroy the monarchy

Andrew dislodged

Andrew strenuously denies being arrested

Andrew unable to watch Line of Duty or Succession

Andrew's emails: massage deleted

Charles throws Andrew under the carriage

Did you fritter away pancake day?

Frog toxin made Navalny croak?

Government fixes GP services with more paperwork

Keir Starmer gives up for Lent

Knife incident at private school: pupil arrested after using the wrong one for fish

Morgan McSweeney takes responsibility for the Birmingham bin strike

Rank amateurs beaten by rank outsiders

Repairing Commons: MPs to use Bibbi Stockholm instead

Royal Lodge: Police continue the search for Andrew's conscience

Rumours grow that Keir Starmer is about to shift himself

Sainsbury's cancel Peter Mandelson's Nectar card

Trump to release best bits of Epstein files after his dementia diagnosis


dominic_mcg

 

Jersey approves assisted dying for cardigan wearers

Lord Mandelson now known as Peter Mountbatten Windsor


ian searle    

   

Crufts refusing entry to Wetherspoon's customers without muzzles could be illegal

Disgruntled workers in Poisonous Gas factory say atmosphere was toxic

Disney warns of hit from flagging foreign visits, apparently it’s not such a small world

Donaldson reveals new character for third Gruffalo book, Mandelson denies ever meeting him

Ocado fails to deliver

Sweeney Todd accepts responsibility for Nellie Lovett's pies


jeremynh      

  

Andrew appointed patron of the National Mistrust


jim skinz 

        

'McSweeney, get your trousers on - you're nicked'

Movie world in shock after British actor isn't linked to James Bond role

World in shock as Trump pays tribute to deceased non-white person


Lockjaw  

        

You're gone, McSweeney


mcdabble    

  

Keir Starmer now 11th in line for news headlines

Palestine Action protestors to be subjected to 'Trial by Ordeal'

Pensioners struggling with student loan repayments

Starmer to be replaced by AI mashup of Polanski and Farage

Trump hits Supreme Court with huge tariffs

Westminster OAPs' club about to be scammed by overpriced building quote


mick turate    


Andrew's new Royal residence to be the Tower of London

BAFTA states that Tourette's incident was a f***ing disgrace

Elon Musk buys the Epstein Files and renames them the X-files


John Virgone


Starmer apologises for Epstein managing the Beatles


Modelmaker  


BBC: "none of our paedophiles named in the Epstein files"

BBC: 'We're proud that none of our paedophiles were mentioned in the Epstein files'

Defra tells farmers in the West Country they ought to have planted fish

Jeffrey Epstein was Margaret Thatcher's secret love child

Mandelson stripped of his peerage, but ordered to keep underpants on

Where morality takes second place to the cost of cleaning


rowly  


Green Party boasts that they will now be able to fix Government leaks


sinnick      

      

Trump still wondering why he didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize


Sir Lupus   

     

Crown Prosecution Service gets literal


sketchly     

     

Breaking News! Epstein still alive and living with Elvis on the moon!

ICE agents can't take the heat

Magician invites Starmer to pick a card, dies waiting

NasCar driver fed up being asked what those lines are all about

Starmer asks his advisor for advice on sacking his advisor

Starmer: 'I'm a victim, too, you know...'


sydalg 


I'll make you king of Greenland, Trump tells Andrew


Titus   


Britain calls for creation of a wooden medal for 4th place

Calls for woman to be appointed 'Minister of Tokenism'

Great opening ceremony, but Downhill from now on

Reform to Mandelson 'Your membership application must be lost in the post'

Starmer vows to keep fighting - to retain his leadership

Study finds teenage amphibians are obsessed with frogs' porn

'Surviving Stabbing' to be new school achievement

Trump accused of talking hyperbolics

Trump tells Supreme Court 'They weren't tariffs - they were Special Economic Operations'


tonymc          

  

Andrew to join Reform as Women's Rights spokesmen

Andy's £30 rub down wrong , 360m on Buckingham Palace, fine

Is Curling the new Cage Fighting ?

Jenrick hoping to build on Rwanda success with Reform

No proof Thatcher had a Tramp Stamp say Tory HQ

Ofwat promise price increases will pay dividends

Palatine Action , UK Gov await Tel Aviv's orders

Records show Charles was close friends with Jimmy Savile

Sir Lindsay : it's unfortunate media found out I am a grass


writingbsl     

  

Floods minister 'out of her depth'




 
 
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