Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month May 2025
- Throngsman
- 2 days ago
- 10 min read
Deskpilot has swept the board once again, and isn't subject to the vagaries of the Wren rule this month so can proudly hold the virtual trophy above his head. Sully has had a commendable month, edging ahead of Wren and, er, Titus. Well done everyone who submitted and especially those who scored.
As usual the Cartoon of the month is featured below the leaderboard, as is the full list of tickers.
Front Page, News in Brief and Features
Adrian Bamforth
apepper
ashbery
bigbadbob
billclay
ChrisF
Chipchase
DanWakling
Deskpilot
docholiday
Dominic_mcg
eppursimuove
Gerontius
Granger
herculepoisson
hokeyloki
ian searle
james_doc
jim Skinz
jeremynh
Joe
Lockjaw
MADJEZ
McDabble
Midfield Diamond
Modelmaker
MrQ
Newsbiscuit
Rowly
sarah tipper
Sketchly
Sir Lupus
sockpuppet
SteveB
Stewartbarclay
Sully
tacitus
thesquire
Throngsman
Titus
Tonymc
watchermark
Wrenfoe
Cartoon of the month goes to Lockjaw with Behold! The Antichrist
Headlines
Adrian Bamforth
Bus replacement services to be nationalised
New Pope's Latin Masses to be shortened for adverts
Sycamore Gap: Police still looking for the brains of the operation
apepper
Stable genius manages to get himself sued by Harvard Law School
TV Series about colour-blindness gets the grey light
ashbery
Madame Tussauds demand return of Kemi Badenoch
Police concerned over early prisoner release of former colleagues
Starmer heads off further criticism with UK-EU Freedom From Information Agreement
bigbadbob
BBC stops paying Lineker £700k per apology
Golden Eagles spotted in England just trying to get on Spring Watch
Mirror expert warned after exposing his massive parabolics
Pete Hegseth leaks identity of next Pope
Plans for offshore windfarm blown out of the water
Trump claims crowds still booing Biden
Chipchase
Boris Johnson strongly supports Farage's plan to lift two-child benefit cap
Assisted Dying bill slipping away
Bistro closes because all its servers are down
Deal to bring back MFI stores falls apart
Door Dash places £2.9bn order with Deliveroo
Farage determined to get his winter fuel payment
Four in 10 universities face financial challenges - that's over 75%
Games teacher mistakenly celebrates the 80th Anniversary of P.E. Day
Gas company launches new tariff that includes one explosion per year
Harvard University to move to Canada
Kid who swallowed magnets left in A&E on the fridge door
King Charles says Harry can't have mobile phones or media privileges until he grows up
Man puts tanning salon plans on the back burner
Man who trashed tea urn finds himself in hot water
Starmer to move civil servants out of London. To Rwanda
Substitute campanologist turns out to be a ringer
Trump realises that Putin has made him look like a complete tw@t
Trump tariff hokey cokey continues
Docholiday
Struggling blinds company told - 'pay up or it's curtains'
dominic_mcg
"Call The Midwife" film announcement premature, says BBC
Netanyahu to allow 'basic amount of food into Gaza'. The IDF have to eat, he said
Sir Tom 'Kwik Fit' Farmer declared unroadworthy
Two-child benefit cap may be replaced by alternative headgear, says Rayner
gerontius
Govt to honour remaining VE war heroes by scrapping their winter fuel allowance
Popemobile to be replaced with golf buggy says Vatican
Granger
A big clap for the new vaccine!
hokeyloki
Prince Harry finally praised by UK - for keeping Farage's ugly gurning mug off the front pages
ian searle
Trump visits Saudi America
james_doc
Conclave to Include Swimsuit Round
Parents worried teens are going on the rails
jeremynh
Generous chimney seller tells customer: "It's on the house."
Truth dawns on Flat Earther after round the world cruise
jim Skinz
Archaeologists find spade and deckchair near Sutton Hoo bucket
BBC investigated by Ofcom after gameshow fails to involve Bradley Walsh
Trump demands 145% of Zhao Xintong’s prize money
Joe
Driving instructors do ‘U Turn’ on fees
lockjaw
Enlightened American Pope to reduce tariff of Hail Marys for each penance by 25%
Israel approves major expansion of illegal West Bank settlements
Trump calls Putin crazy
MADJEZ
Trump blasts corrupt Eurovision as US fails to win yet again
mcdabble
After imposing huge tariffs, US bombs Houthis to protect world trade
Biden's US economy in recession, while Trump's US economy booms
Mexican Navy ship crashes while captain looking for Gulf of Mexico on US map
Prevost Wins Big Father
Trump loses patience in talks with Russia. Oh no, sorry, the European Union
Trump threatens tariffs on Melania
Trump: I was joking when I said I wasn't joking
Two-child benefit cap to be scrapped, but third child to be taxed from six months
UK economy grows 'ironically'
Modelmaker
Americans call for referendum on return to being ruled by British King
BBC complains that ITV's Magpie stole Blue Peter's shiniest ideas
Elbow to get joint billing with Kneecap on Glastonbury Pyramid stage
Farage promises under Reform, doctors would be urged to prescribe beer and fags
Hopes that EU deal, may allow basic amount of food back into UK shops
Labour to offer referendum about exchanging Eurovision for EU membership
Prisoner requests day release to visit his jailed ex-governor
Reform-controlled councils ban sale of milkshakes
Starmer: "We can't rebuild the Red Wall, as Rayner has used all the bricks for housing"
MrQ
Container ships now providing door to door service
Cucumber raita narrowly misses out on literary award
Digging gets underway to find Tories latest poll rating
Government to appoint new Minister of U-turns
Nearly 2 years in and over 50,000 Palestinians dead but make no mistake Israel have been warned
Posh lady distraught after catching a common cold
Suspicious campers charged with intent
UK in talks to hold talks about talking
UK sends trade envoy to Israel to discuss weather
Undercover officer still in bed
United seek criminal defence lawyer
Paul L
Board game thief uses a get out of jail free card
rowly
Gary Lineker quits BBC, "I was only saying I had supported my mate Gazza"
sockpuppet
Trump wins Goebbels BS Award after latest interview
Sully
Reform vow to give British fish the vote
thesquire
Doctor Who avoids the hideous monster that is Eurovision
Titus
'Britain has secret base on Chagos islands'. So how do you know?
Cardinals say 'Wahey, Lads! It's a lock-in!'
Disappointment that Pope from Peru fails to adopt name Paddingtonus
Dogs looking forward to the next ban collar day
Evri parcel now allegedly at risk of being Dropped, Hidden or Lost
New reservoir plans don't hold water
Vegetarian reluctant to join 'meat too' movement
tonymc
Europa Final greenest yet as millions switch off
Israel insist 9 year old killed was senior Hamas commander
It's not Genocide if victims aren't Jews says UK
Walter Eagle
Trump Wants Foreign Movies Tariffs.. For A Few Dollars More
watchermark
Trump: the Bird-brained Man of Alcatraz
wrenfoe
Starmer criticises Kanye for not being racist enough